We think we've got hens in the skirting-board…

Hens with beady eyes

Hens with beady eyes

Chickens are the most stupid creatures on the planet

Well, that’s my opinion and I’m always right! When I was a child, we lived close to a chicken farm and the wretched animals were always escaping. Despite having their wings clipped, the could still over the fence around the farm and, occasionally, over the fence into our garden. It happened so often that our dog, Bengo, reacted to the word "chickens" by running to the French windows, barking. He would chase them from the garden. One once tried to run through the chain-link fence into next door’s garden and got stuck, being unable to back out because its feathers got stuck. Our neighbour had to get gloves and hold the feathers down whilst pushing its head back through. Stupidity!

Chickens are dangerous

Bird ’flu. Need I say more?

There is also Geraldine, the “Chicken of Mass Destruction”. This started as a dream that Bahkti had, in which there was a chicken working on one of the tills at our local Sainsbury's. Customers were being warned not to look her in the eye, as she would steal your soul with just one glance if she clucked three times. She had an especially high stool so that she could reach the conveyor belt, but had difficulty manouevring stuff with her wings. And she was called Geraldine… Bahkti decided to Google for "Geraldine" and "chicken of mass destruction", not really expecting any results. Life can be very strange at times!